Once I received news that my baby died in womb, I was given three options by the Women’s Hospital to carry out my miscarriage management.
First option was to let the dead foetus discharge naturally. If I choose this option, the hospital will arrange a follow up scan in two weeks time.
Second option was to have medication. If I choose this option, I will be given tablets to take to stop my pregnancy hormone. This will help to speed up the process of my miscarriage. Then a follow up scan will be done to confirm that everything has been discharged.
The third option involved surgery which is known as D&C. I was explained that this is not painful as I will be unconcious when they do the operation.
The hospital gave me leaftlets to read and I had to make decision in 48 hours by ringing the number which was given to me.
My husband and me had discussion about this. I also consulted with my dad who is in medical field and he had asked advise from his friend, an experienced gynaecologist.
I was recommended to proceed with natural miscarriage with the following reasons:
1) My pregnancy stopped at 6 weeks which is less than 9 weeks;
2) This is my first pregnancy hence surgery is not advisable as it will hurt me more; and
3) The gynaecologist explained that my body is amazing that if it can detected genetically weak baby, means it is also able to release the dead baby naturally.
However, I was also advised to monitor my body temperature because if I have fever, it means there is infection. Thus, I must visit the hospital as soon as possible to remove the dead foetus via surgery.
Natural miscarriage differs for every woman, sometimes it may take few days or weeks. Alternatively, the gynaecologist advised that if I can’t wait and wish for speedy process, I can opt for the second option.
After a long thought, I decided to opt for the first option and my husband fully supported my decision. Anyway, since the last scan, my body had started to accept the fact that there was a dead foetus in my womb and that made me bleeding with fresh blood as well as feeling painful cramp around my abdominal area.
I kept myself slightly active by doing some house chores, hoping that it could speed up the natural miscarriage process. Well, it sort of did.
On Thursday, I bleed more. I kept going to the toilet to change my sanitary pads and sometimes I stayed longer sitting on the toilet seat letting out the blood clots. It was horrible to see how much bleeding I was suffering. However, each time I discharged the blood clots, my pain slightly reliefed.
The same process went on until Saturday, I had the worst pain.
I sat on the toilet seat for an hour or more (I can’t remember). While listening to the Korean music that I switched on to calm myself, I saw something came out from my vagina. A thick flesh (looked like meat to me) about the size of my husband’s thumb with a very tiny chord (white slightly transparent) attached to it.
The flesh dropped in the toilet bowl and I showed to my husband. He sympathised the dead foetus. Without having a second thought, I flushed.
I googled to reconfirm whether the flesh I saw was really the dead foetus. Apparently, at 6 weeks pregnancy, the baby should be the size of a lentil seed. I thought the flesh was way too big for the size of lentil.
I googled again for more information and found that the flesh actually covered the tiny dead foetus. If I had taken out the flesh from the bowl and examined further, I might be able to see the exact look of the dead foetes. Based on several photos found on google, the 6 weeks dead foetus should be white slightly transparent and has some features like tiny eyes, tail, not fully form hands etc.
I felt a little regret for flushing the flesh but my sister and father comforted me that it was fine because, the foetus did not have any soul from the begining. The Muslims believed baby starts to have soul during 4 months size of pregnancy; and if she died, she must be named and properly buried.
I felt better, no more abdominal pain but still heavily bleeding.